He criticizes me all the time and made me feel so bad about myself.

My husband has been stupidly holding off having a kid with me for 1.5 years because of the fear that having another kid would break the marriage. Because of this ongoing struggle, I am at the verge of divorcing him. I don’t want to keep doing this with him. I resent him so much that I hate him to the guts. He does so many things that makes me feel I’m not enough for him no matter how hard I try. No matter what I do I’m not a good enough partner to him. He criticizes me all the time and made me feel so bad about myself. I would like to write a death note that he dies so my life and my kid’s life would be so much better.